


Use Your Eyes

by DrawYourGunsR5



Series: A Thousand Times Yes [2]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: A little gay back story, A little over a year before Dirk proposes, First kiss after what happened at Sound of Nothing, Gina Linetti makes a guest appearance, How Dirk and Todd started dating, M/M, So second kiss?, There's a really funny joke from 01x12 of B99 in here, Todd Brotzman is Bad at Feelings, but it's funny even if you've never seen B99, can be read by itself, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17234087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrawYourGunsR5/pseuds/DrawYourGunsR5
Summary: A year, a month, and two weeks before Dirk Gently proposed to Todd Brotzman, they started dating.Dirk and Todd pretend to be a couple on a date to get information for their case. It turns into a real date with some help from the universe.





	Use Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prince-of-the-jellies](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Prince-of-the-jellies).



November was definitely the weirdest month of them all. The strangest things always happen in the month of November. Dirk could never explain it, but the month was just completely crazy. Usually it always boiled down to one day. And this time, Dirk woke up with a hunch that today would be that day. And of course, they got a new lead on their suspect in the new case. According to Farah, he was meeting someone at a fancy new restaurant.

“It’s not _that_ fancy,” Todd argued.

“Uh, appetizers are $10 and more. That’s fancy.”

“That’s America, Dirk. Welcome to America.”

Dirk rolled his eyes at Todd and regained focus on Farah. “So, we go in there and get him tonight?”

“No, I think for this one we need to scale it back a little,” she proposed.

“Scale it back? Meaning….?”

“Meaning. We have to get him to trust us. You two go in there and pretend to be on a date, try to sit near him and listen in or even join his conversation. Get as much information on him that we can to bust this case,” she explained.

“Wait. Us? A date? Why?” Todd questioned.

“Because that won’t be as suspicious. If Dirk walked in there with a girl and said she was his date, no one would be believe it and our cover would be blown,” she retorted.

Todd thought for a second and then decided she was right. There was no way Dirk would ever pass as straight. Not that it was a bad thing, though. Todd definitely doesn’t mind going on a date with Dirk, even if it was fake. Well, it’s not like Todd wanted to go on a real date with Dirk or anything, he just enjoys thinking about the things that could happen on a date. But he definitely doesn’t want to date Dirk. Okay well, maybe sometimes he does. He didn’t exactly know how he felt about Dirk. Just that sometimes at night he’d think about kissing him. And when he thought about Dirk his heart would always speed up. And that whenever Dirk came into the room Todd always loses his breath for a second. And when Dirk gets sad it absolutely breaks his heart. It’s a lot of new feelings for Todd. He wasn’t quite sure what they meant. Maybe a fake date will help him figure some of it out.

“You know there’s no reason to be _nervous_ , Todd,” Dirk announced as Todd drove into the parking lot of the “fancy” restaurant.

“Nervous? What? Why would I be nervous?” Todd panted.

“You’re gripping the steering wheel so tight I can hear it gasping for air,” Dirk joked.

Todd instantly released his death-grip from the wheel and relaxed a little. Dirk was right. There was no reason to be nervous.

Dirk’s voice then became a bit more serious. “And you’ve barely said anything to me through this whole drive. Now, I’m used to being the more talkative one between the two of us, but you seem to be acting a little strange. Are you feeling okay? Are you ill?”

Todd put the car in park and turned to look at Dirk. “I’m fine. I’m just worried about this not going well. What if he doesn’t believe us and our cover is blown? We have backup, right? Farah will come save us if this all goes wrong, right?”

Dirk set his hand on top of Todd’s. “You shouldn’t worry, Todd. I have a feeling this is will go flawlessly.”

His smile was flawless.

“When have things ever gone flawlessly?” Todd mumbled.

“You’ve got a good point, Todd. But I’ve got a hunch about tonight.”

Todd’s eyes fell away from being locked with Dirk’s and grazed over his smile. Todd noticed Dirk blush subtly and he quickly turned away before this whole thing got weird. As he turned he saw their suspect walking into the building.

“Hey, there’s our guy. We should head in there.”

Dirk exhaled rather deeply and hopped out of the car, Todd was following close behind him.

After a careful inspection of the restaurant, Dirk led Todd to a table beside their suspect. As they took their seats, the woman sitting with their suspect turned and smiled at them.

“Excuse me, I don’t want to sound weird or anything but can I ask you two a very serious question?”

Great. They haven’t been sitting for more than ten seconds and they’ve already made contact.

“Sure,” Dirk and Todd said in unison.

The woman sighed and leaned in closer to the table sitting between Dirk and Todd. She rested her elbows on the table and looked back and forth between the guys. The suspect rolled his eyes as the woman lowered her voice and asked, “Are you keeping a big secret from anyone right now?”

A noise escaped Todd’s throat that he never knew he could produce. Dirk seemed to stutter a couple random syllables before blowing a raspberry and shrugging.

The woman smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes. Hi, Gina Linetti here. I’m a couples therapist for the day and I could see how much chemistry you two had when you walked in. But you’re both hiding a lot of secrets from each other. How can I help?”

Dirk looked at Gina with the same expression he had when Panto told him he was the center of the prophecy - a complete mixture of amazement and confusion.

Todd took a deep breath and shook his head to snap back to reality. “Uh, sorry, no. We don’t need any couple’s therapy. But… thanks anyway?”

Gina scrunched up her nose and let out a slightly condescending giggle, “Hm. It’s cute that you think this is about you. Listen, my friend Shawn here thinks that keeping secrets is a _bad_ way of keeping the relationship going. Could you please tell him that lying keeps it fun and _sexy?”_ She added in a wink at the end.

Shawn then pulled his chair closer. The original table Gina and Shawn were sitting at was now abandoned. Dirk and Todd’s table was surrounded by the four of them.

“I just think that if this were going to continue as a healthy relationship, we should be honest with each other. You two are together, right? What do you think?”

Dirk and Todd locked eyes with each other for a time that seemed to last forever. Was it awkward or romantic? Either way, they were both thinking the same thing:  _this could be our way of getting information on Shawn._ Before too much time passed and it _definitely_ became awkward, Todd smiled and turned back to Gina. “Honesty is the best policy. I almost ruined my life because of a lie, and the only reason it got better was because of…” shit, why didn’t they come up with code name before hand? “Elijah.”

Dirk smiled weakly. “Yes, and I lied and it nearly ruined my relationship with…” Come on, Dirk, think fast. “Sam.” Good one. “But once we started being honest, it all worked itself out.”

Shawn grinned at Gina. “See, babe, the key to a healthy relationship is honesty.”

Gina rolled her eyes and Dirk beamed a little brighter. “I think I have a good solution to this problem. Shawn, why don’t you tell Gina your secrets? And Gina, you just sit there and look pretty?”

Gina smirked. “That’s what I’m best at.”

The whole situation was _weird,_ but Shawn started talking about his life. It was all strange to Todd and very interesting to Dirk. He answered a lot of questions regarding the crime they were investigating, but it was very obvious that this guy had no idea he was involved in it. But he was helpful, and very weird.

Once Shawn was done giving his life story, the four of them sat around the table and just seemed to have a normal conversation. Well, it was normal until Shawn asked how long Dirk and Todd had been together.

At the exact same time Todd answered with “Eight months,” Dirk announced, “Six months.”

Todd then shook his head quickly and corrected himself. “We met eight months ago, but we started dating six months ago.”

Okay, good save, Todd. Just don’t mention the fact that Dirk was in a secret government agency during those two extra months and everything will be fine.

They really should have planned out their answers before diving into this.

“That’s sweet. How did you meet?” Gina asked.

“I broke into his apartment,” Dirk stated matter-of-factly.

Todd gave Dirk a disapproving look, but Gina and Shawn shrugged it off as if that were completely normal.

Gina leaned toward Todd and whispered, not quietly enough, “So, is he a good kisser?”

Dirk and Todd both began blushing furiously at this. Of course, they’ve only kissed once in real life. But they were both so high on Suzie’s love spell that it didn’t mean anything. From what Todd remembers, yes, Dirk is a fantastic kisser and he would love to do it again in a heartbeat. As for Dirk, kissing Todd was the _only_ thing he remembers from the party and if anyone asked him, it was the only _important_ thing that happened that night. That was his first kiss, believe it or not, and it was the greatest experience of his life.

Todd gulped and broke his eye contact again with Dirk and looked at Gina. “Yeah, he’s alright.”

Dirk scoffed. “Alright? That’s not what you’ve been telling your sister.”

Todd knew this was all part of their undercover story. He’s never told Amanda about the kiss at Sound of Nothing. No one else knew besides the two of them, because it happened in a dark corner far away from the rest of the people. It was so romantic. Farah and Tina didn’t even know. “Yeah, remind me to call her after this and tell her to stay out of my love life, okay?”

“Love life? So you boys are in love?” Shawn questioned.

“They’re so obviously in love, Shawn. Use your eyes!” Gina demanded.

Todd chuckled, his face still burning. His eyes locked with Dirk’s once again and all of a sudden everything in his body calmed. His face cooled down, his heart stopped racing, and his hands felt a lot less clammy. “I love him more than I imagined was possible.”

Dirk’s lips broke into that smile that made Todd melt inside. “I never knew what love felt like until I met him.”

Something about it felt like stars colliding with each other. Two realities fusing into one. The true reality of where they’ve been, pretending they aren’t into each other for the best six months, and this new reality, accepting that they want to be together. The two realities fought over each other before the new reality had won. They saw the stars exploding in each other’s eyes from across the table. It was a new solar system entirely, so many new things happening in the second they were looking at each other. Everything changed and that’s when Todd knew; he loves Dirk Gently more than he _ever_ thought was possible.

They had sat there staring at each other for so long that they had forgotten other people were there too. Until Shawn cleared his throat and announced he had to go talk to someone outside the restaurant.

Dirk remembered what Farah had told them earlier, _if he leaves the table, follow him._

So Dirk and Todd excused themselves a few short moments later and followed Shawn outside. They tried their best to hide so Shawn wouldn’t see them following him. In the parking lot, Shawn walked over to a small grey car with dark tinted windows.

“Well, that’s not shady at all...” Todd whispered.

They were a safe enough distance away that whispering probably wasn’t needed, but Todd wasn’t about to risk that.

“That’s incredibly shady, Todd. What are you talking about?”

Todd rolled his eyes, but he knew Dirk was only joking. It was cute.

“Do you think they see us watching them?” Todd asked after a few more minutes of watching Shawn talking to someone through a single inch opening in the window.

Dirk scrunched his face for a moment in thought before relaxing it and turning fully to face Todd. “Kiss me.”

Todd nearly physically flinched. “What?”

“Well if they look over at us they won’t see us watching them, they’ll see us snogging.”

Todd could not argue with that. So he nodded and said, “Okay.”

As Dirk took a deep breath and began leaning in, time slowed down for Todd. Dirk’s eyes fixated on Todd’s mouth. Todd couldn’t stop looking at Dirk’s eyes. He’d been wanting this to happen again for so long, he couldn’t put words on how he felt in this moment. Except maybe panicky. His stomach felt strange and he could have sworn he saw his life flash before his eyes. Maybe he felt like he was dying for a moment. Maybe that’s why he pulled away from Dirk when they were hardly an inch apart.

“Sorry, I-” His eyes fell to the ground. His stomach stopped twisting and a wave of heat rushed over his body. His brain wirled with explanations, but he couldn’t find one. He just freaked out couldn’t stop himself.

“It’s okay,” Dirk whispered. His voice sounded broken, like it wasn’t his anymore.

 _What that my fault?_ Todd begged to himself. _Did I disappoint him again?_

After a painful minute of silence, and their bodies still pressed against each other, Todd looked away from the ground. To which he found Shawn walking briskly their way.

Without any second thought, and thankfully no panic this time, Todd set his hands on the back of Dirk’s neck, and pulled the beautiful Brit into the sweetest kiss he’d ever experienced. And it was perfect. That strange feeling in Todd’s stomach returned, but this time, Todd welcomed and embraced it. The kiss only lasted about six seconds, but it was long enough for both of them to forget everything about the case they were working on. (Farah would be disappointed).

“Hey you two,” Shawn greeted as he got closer. “What’s going on?”

Todd peeled himself halfway from Dirk, feeling much different than before, and smiled at Shawn. “Just wanted to get some fresh air. Who were you talking to?”

As the car drove away, Dirk made sure he got the license plate number. He has always been better than Todd at remembering things.

“Oh that was my uhhhh… cousin.” Liar. “We haven’t seen each other in a while, so he wanted to see if we could get together and catch up sometime.” _Liar_. “Anyway, we should get back inside, Gina’s probably worried you two left to go boink.” He laughed, patted Todd on his shoulders, then waltzed inside.

Dirk looked down at Todd. “Well that was… Interesting.”

Todd stared at Dirk in a way that can only be described as “heart eyes.” The sun was shining on Dirk in the most marvelous way. His brown hair sparkled and seemed to turn a bright copper in the sunlight. His eyes were brighter that he had ever seen them before. The shadow across his face made Todd want to beg for more of this. More time to look at him, more kissing him, more being held by him. As he breathed in the beauty Dirk radiated, Amanda’s words echoed in his ears; “One day you’re going to wake up and realize that Dirk Gently is the love of your life. And you’re going to hate yourself because you missed your chance to be with him.” At the time, Todd laughed her words off by saying, “Jokes on you sis, I hate myself already.” But she was right.

“I don’t want to miss my chance, Dirk.”

“What chance?”

Todd took a deep breath. He stood up a little straighter (ha) and pulled Dirk in for another kiss. This time, it lasted longer than six seconds. It was hungrier and much more romantic than the one three minutes before. It felt like something the universe wanted. It was _right._

Once they broke away, Dirk started laughing. He hugged Todd, because he knew if he let go of him he would fall to the ground due to how weak his legs felt. But also because he loved Todd, and he never _wanted_ to let him go. His happiness in that moment would never be repeated until Christmas the next year. He loved Todd more than he thought he would be allowed to. That was a fact that would never change.

“We should probably get back in there. We still have a case to solve,” Todd whispered.

Dirk nodded and together, hand-in-hand, they walked back into the restaurant. As they walked in, Shawn was on his way out. He seemed upset, compared to the euphoric cloud Dirk and Todd were walking on.

“Gina left. I came in and she was gone. There was just a note on a table that said ‘gone leavin.’ Whatever, I don’t think it was gonna work with us anyway. Nice meeting you two.” Shawn rambled, without any prompting, and walked out the door.

“Should we follow him?” Todd asked.

“You know,” Dirk said, rather suggestively, “We haven’t eaten yet after all this time. And we were here for another reason, I think.”

Todd chuckled. “Are you asking me on a date?”

Dirk looked away for a second before locking eyes with Todd again and nodding. “Todd Brotzman, will you go on a date with me?”

“A thousand times, yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I made a second part because I have no self control. You're welcome Ethan, I hope you like it! <3


End file.
